Resurrection [Poll added]

I done a lot and a lot was done to me, I'd like to start this with some logs from earlier today after a long day of stress;

[TG] Nirvana: diablo
DIABLO258: Yes
[TG] Nirvana: unban me now plz
DIABLO258: WhY?
[TG] Nirvana: Beause its been a year now, and I want to see if I can get back into the spirit of RPing in gmod after spending most of my time in the Borderlands and FPS shooters.
[TG] Nirvana: And what better place to do it than your server?
[TG] Nirvana: And to add in a plus, I've forgotten most if any of the people from TC's past. I only remember
[TG] Nirvana: Noobstrike, you, D-lop and thats about it
[TG] Nirvana: partly because you are all on my friendslist
[TG] Nirvana: and partly because our friendships run deeper in memory
DIABLO258: Its not what you remember. Its what the others remember.
DIABLO258: And I dont understand. Dont you have a serveR?
[TG] Nirvana: Yeah its what they remember, but I didn't really do anything super durastic, and I'm betting there are more new members than old so I won't be remembered (which is perfect.) I'll just be another newbie.
[TG] Nirvana: I had an idea a while ago tbh, not making a case out of my ban, just a quiet unban and just to come in as someone else.
[TG] Nirvana: Nirvana, thats my name now. Nothing remains of any old me there was back when I was in communication with you and some others connected to TC.
[TG] Nirvana: And I've aged over this time, physically some but mentally the most.
[TG] Nirvana: Even if you do allow this, I doubt it will be long before I fall off the radar again. My life has been on and off and right now its off so I have time to do things comforting, like role play.
DIABLO258: So whats the point?
[TG] Nirvana: The point is, maybe I might find it in me to stick around this time, improve my internet-socialization skills by befriending all the new people.
[TG] Nirvana: I stalked the forum for a week after I was banned and then just kinda dropped it, no longer caring. But only recently have I felt the itch to come talk to you about it.
[TG] Nirvana: It'd be a learning experience for me for the most part.
[TG] Nirvana: Summers coming, and what better to do in my spare time than RP with (some?) old friends. (if any remain.)
[TG] Nirvana: And if I do remember someone once I see them, and we were enemies in the past, I don't remember any feuds from then so why not try to even make friends with them?
[TG] Nirvana: In TG, there is this guy that was banned, he is a lot like I was with TC. I can easily see the old me in him and so I've been helping him and coaching him. So now hes unbanned and continuing to play in TG's servers.
[TG] Nirvana: I take what I learned in TC and apply it to issues I have to deal with as an administrator in TG, it helps a lot and gives perspective.
[TG] Nirvana: I can understand most of the angry and disgruntled people who come along on the server or forums.
[TG] Nirvana: Kinda like you, now I've grown up and begin to teach my own kids the rules and techniques I used in TC.
DIABLO258: I still dont understand why you want to leave TG, for TC, which contains little amounts of people from DA or SoTA. Its just me, Noob, Mahunik, Unit, Joe, and afew others.
[TG] Nirvana: I never said leave TG. I'd just like to RP again in TC, I know most of the rules and feel comfortable in the server knowing you run it. I apologize I can't make a better case about it, It just; I miss that vibe I got when I was RPing in TC (before I actually blew up into a giant asshole) its a vibe I cant really explain but its similar to LG's vibe and thats what I wanna feel again.
DIABLO258: Okay, well lets put this to the test. I will use the same tactic I always do. If you can get a forum topic to agree that you should be unbanned, I will unban you. If you are right, most people wont know you so they will be okay with it
DIABLO258: Just explain yourself. What you've learned. Seen. Been through.
DIABLO258: Im sure they will understand
DIABLO258: Hell, I felt sympothy already.
[TG] Nirvana: I need the forum's adress again
[TG] Nirvana: i forgot the forum thingy
[TG] Nirvana: the name of the forum it is used
[TG] Nirvana: that is used*
DIABLO258: thecrew.forumotion.com
[TG] Nirvana: thanks
[TG] Nirvana: and no, I don't have a server. I sold it to someone who would be better at it.

I can't really say much, I don't want to come off as fake. So to be as transparent as I can (lol obama) with this, I'm just going to post the logs of the conversation that motivated me to this. I don't think its much to apologize to anyone via forum, rather personally. Don't hesitate to add me, I don't know or remember most of you so if I don't recognize the name, I probably won't accept unless DIABLO can confirm (Only because of all these new people.) And theres one thing I'd like to make clear, I was given three chances, if TC can find it in their heart to forgive and forget then this will be my fourth just like cherry, we'd be fourth chance buddies. The only other thing I can think of adding to be as clear as I can be is the motivational logs that followed;

DIABLO258: I will need to read what you post first dood, but no worries
[TG] Nirvana: Oh
[TG] Nirvana: Oh I don't think I should
[TG] Nirvana: I just stumbled across Cherry's unban appeal
[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1 when he had 3. I cant rise above the blind hate Gremnkai and Noobstrike have for me.
DIABLO258: HA, Noobstrike, hates you? Bah. Now thats a lie if any
[TG] Nirvana: "couldn't have possibly been worse than what ZuE has done before."


DIABLO258: Well, once again. Its not what you remember, its what others remember.
DIABLO258: None the less, I am still leaving it up to you.
DIABLO258: Make a post, or dont
DIABLO258: Your choice
[TG] Nirvana: Could I explain my case with these logs? If it showed you it ought to show them?
DIABLO258: I suppose so, I cant control steam chats anyway



I don't clearly remember all I did to get banned, but I do remember the most recent time I was unbanned and tried to clean up the server but was just seen as a liability rather than someone who cared. I also understand that I stabbed a few of you in the back and I'm truly sorry about that, like I said before, If you'd like a personal apology I'd be more than happy to do so. I'm not really one to type up 10 paragraphs which all just add up to "unban pls" so I'll just leave you guys with this. I may not remember but I'm sure what I did wasn't so bad that it would cause the remaining old members of TC to continue to hate me for it, but if it does, please confront me personally and explain it to me so I just don't see it as blind hate. Thanks and I hope everyone left from the good era of TC can forgive and forget the past of 2012. If anything in this post is seen as hostile or negative, I apologize; I mean well in every way possible.


P.S. RPing back in TC would be a great summer activity and learning experience for me since I don't really have any plans for summer, sadly.

I don't have blind hate for you. I have several reasons to -support 'Nirvana', but I hope you realize I don't like -supporting someone unless I have good reason. I look at all the facts before making a decision. And it troubles me that you have got a lot of chances, all of them being wasted. All the facts go toward me voting no, but honestly you are a cool guy. You just need to mature a bit more... I need a bit more time to think before voting.

EDIT:: I made my decision after thinking for a while. I vote NO

DIABLO258 wrote:I just want to point out that this conversation is legit.

Ide also like to say that... this feels really strange to me.
Exactly one year ago I clicked "Connect" on a server called Dead Anarchy. And now, a year later, the owner of said server is asking to join mine.

Sudden revelation.

But to be honest, I am okay with any decision this community comes too. Whether he gets unbanned or not, I will abide by your choices.

And because he asked:
This guy isnt a bad guy. He has just had troubles in the past. And me being the guy I am, I am okay with... third chances? Fourth? Either way. You have had your up's and downs. But then again, so have we all.

Yeah man, things you've told me and done have inspired and motivated me through real life situations. You were the one who woke me up and motivated me to start life, life begins outside of the comfort zone so now I do kayaking for 4 hours on the weekends.

DIABLO258: I will need to read what you post first dood, but no worries
[TG] Nirvana: Oh
[TG] Nirvana: Oh I don't think I should
[TG] Nirvana: I just stumbled across Cherry's unban appeal
[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1 when he had 3. I cant rise above the blind hate Gremnkai and Noobstrike have for me.

[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1

I got 4 chances

4 chances

I'm staying neutral, but... 4 chances?

Jesus, dude... I know you might be good but you were permabanned FOUR times. All unbanned.

Hell, I may be totally wrong about you, man. I'm just not sure, yet

Masey wrote:

DIABLO258: I will need to read what you post first dood, but no worries
[TG] Nirvana: Oh
[TG] Nirvana: Oh I don't think I should
[TG] Nirvana: I just stumbled across Cherry's unban appeal
[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1 when he had 3. I cant rise above the blind hate Gremnkai and Noobstrike have for me.

[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1

I got 4 chances

4 chances

I'm staying neutral, but... 4 chances?

Jesus, dude... I know you might be good but you were permabanned FOUR times. All unbanned.

Hell, I may be totally wrong about you, man. I'm just not sure, yet

I don't want to come off as negative but, I was banned THREE times. The first (forgot) the second; mad at noobstrike, the third; trying to be a boyscout and fix all the problems with people in the server.

Neutral or not, I just want to make it clear that it was THREE. I never said four and I don't know when or where that started being said.

Nirvana wrote:

Masey wrote:

DIABLO258: I will need to read what you post first dood, but no worries
[TG] Nirvana: Oh
[TG] Nirvana: Oh I don't think I should
[TG] Nirvana: I just stumbled across Cherry's unban appeal
[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1 when he had 3. I cant rise above the blind hate Gremnkai and Noobstrike have for me.

[TG] Nirvana: And its thought that I got 4 chances and he only got 1

I got 4 chances

4 chances

I'm staying neutral, but... 4 chances?

Jesus, dude... I know you might be good but you were permabanned FOUR times. All unbanned.

Hell, I may be totally wrong about you, man. I'm just not sure, yet

I don't want to come off as negative but, I was banned THREE times. The first (forgot) the second; mad at noobstrike, the third; trying to be a boyscout and fix all the problems with people in the server.

Neutral or not, I just want to make it clear that it was THREE. I never said four and I don't know when or where that started being said.

Oh and I just noticed, no offense but you took my words out of context. I said "And its THOUGHT that I got 4 chances and he only got 1"

I was saying that everyone thought I had already gotten 4 chances.

This is your 4th chance. Perhaps your 5th including attempts in SoTA. (maybe I am wrong)

But what I don't think people are fully-understanding is that every single time... every time you were banned, you fought to come back. Why so much dedication? Do you really like it here? Do you just really want to hurt us? I don't know. But what we don't know is what scares us the most.

So once again, its your turn to make us think other wise and get brave.

DIABLO258 wrote:This is your 4th chance. Perhaps your 5th including attempts in SoTA. (maybe I am wrong)

But what I don't think people are fully-understanding is that every single time... every time you were banned, you fought to come back. Why so much dedication? Do you really like it here? Do you just really want to hurt us? I don't know. But what we don't know is what scares us the most.

So once again, its your turn to make us think other wise and get brave.

I can admit back when I was an immature tyraiding asshole; my intentions were negative and hurtful. But now all I want to do is be happy and make friends and have fun playing the role of someone else in a completely more interesting universe and story. I'm really in to books and I look at HL2RP and TC's HL2RP as a self-writing book. Its very brave of you guys to even consider being neutral on this and for that I am thankful. I'm tired of roller coasters and now I just want to sit back and relax and chill with my old family known as TC.

You seem like a decent guy, Zue, but I think you should go with your old persona, you know? I mean... though it is a controversial one, you'll always be considered Zue, just with a name change.

You're not in the clear just yet, I need some more time to think, man...

I still remain neutral.

Three permabans, I mean... that's ALOT of bans, man! If you are to come back to the server, you better be bringing good intentions with you, no offense.

Edit : my 111th post!

Masey wrote:You seem like a decent guy, Zue, but I think you should go with your old persona, you know? I mean... though it is a controversial one, you'll always be considered Zue, just with a name change.

You're not in the clear just yet, I need some more time to think, man...

I still remain neutral.

Three permabans, I mean... that's ALOT of bans, man! If you are to come back to the server, you better be bringing good intentions with you, no offense.

Edit : my 111th post!

I don't even remember RPing with you. And zue, as popular as it is; I rather no go by it because along with reputation it carries dozens of enemies. The kind of enemy that I don't want to let find me again. I'm not zue. I'm Nirvana and have been since the start of 2013 and will be til I stop gaming. Seeing how I was banned brings the idea that I can truly understand the system from the eyes of an admin, why? Because along with banishment comes scolding and stern conversations, along with the words said in said conversations; I've asked questions and just by simply asking "why?" will unlock so much that it would blow your mind. I forgot and moved on from TC for a while now, but everything said to me by Diablo has grown on me enough to change and completely turn me around. And if I do become successful, I'm gonna get Diablo's full name and write a song about that. Anyway, neutral is better than no, at least you are giving it some thought.

Masey wrote:You seem like a decent guy, Zue, but I think you should go with your old persona, you know? I mean... though it is a controversial one, you'll always be considered Zue, just with a name change.

You're not in the clear just yet, I need some more time to think, man...

I still remain neutral.

Three permabans, I mean... that's ALOT of bans, man! If you are to come back to the server, you better be bringing good intentions with you, no offense.

Edit : my 111th post!

Needs 1337, not yet masey.

Im turning this into a Poll.

[POLL ADDED]

This would probably be his 4th return but, he indeed is a good RPer. I support unban.

Did you vote? Because two people said no. And no one has voted yes.

Supported.

Why, you may ask? You seem like an OK guy, if Mahunik says 'yes' to your 4th appeal C: (no offense, on that btw)

Nirvana wrote:


And zue, as popular as it is; I rather no go by it because along with reputation it carries dozens of enemies. The kind of enemy that I don't want to let find me again. I'm not zue. I'm Nirvana and have been since the start of 2013 and will be til I stop gaming.

The...what...3rd...time I voted Yes as a sign of forgiving you. Giving you another...another chance. Attempted forgetting how much you hated me. And you accuse me of blindly hating you...a little stroll through SOTA forums can speak for itself. You messed that up, called me a terrible admin, threatened reporting me for things and such, swore and cussed your way in and out of things, and found yourself ANOTHER perma-ban, after the same things you promised here. I don't really know what to vote.

4 chances for some semi-popular game mode in the corner of the internet?
All this emotional stuff for a bunch of teenagers playing a game?
It isn't like were in a court house man...

And that quote?
You will be zue to me, you will stay zue to me.
A name change cant erase memories.
So I can forgive, but I won't forget.
If you are let back in, I'll be your shadow in every step you take here. On the server, on the forums- everywhere.
I won't let you mess up again. Not for you, but for everyone else.
Neutral for now. Seeing how this turns out. And what you have to say.

I cannot rationally support your return. Most(if not all)the times you have been banned and wanted to come back, I have been an uninvolved third party watching from outside. From my view, it simply appears to be the same thing over and over. I can't support that. I don't think I did last time either, if I recall. I have to say -support. I really don't see the need of having the same song and dance again.

Well, I've only been here for half a year. I never roleplayed with you and I don't know you. Sure, I've heard about you, but I can't possibly judge this. That's why I'll be going with neutral.

You've had dem 3 chances, and from what i've gathered from being the nosey fagget that i am. It's not ideal to let Zue Nirvana back in TC.
At all.

I'm going with a




I HOPE TRIPPY DOESN'T HIT ME WITH A CHEAP ASS SHOT.

As I can say freely that I'm not a very persuasive person, and in response to Noobstrike, Noobstrike... Noobstrike Noobstrike Noobstrike... All the good in the world is hidden in small places and in shadow, TC may be something small and hidden away in the far corner of the internet but to me; Its inspiration and an addiction. For example, TC is blocked out and hidden away in the shadow of Catalyst which is a horrible community, and yet so many people play there; that's because its a breeding ground for those raging kid hybrid gamers. People remember the bad more than the good, so if given a final chance; I'm going to make sure there is so much good that there is no room in one's mind to remember any bad. And finally, a response to meleepayne; who are you again? I'm sorry but I don't remember you at all dude.

Just wanted to add something here, there isn't much I can say that I haven't said before so I'll just word it as best as possible; How can a banishment hurt so many? I mean, yeah emotion can be felt from the internet but only Noobstrikes remembers what all happened at the first ban, and he has the righteous heart in him to forgive me not once, but twice. I couldn't possibly have done as much hurt as I did the first time; the most recent time. None of you know the feels and the addiction that once can get with a place that so many friends were made. I'm glad so many of you went neutral because like I said; Neutral is better than a No.

Nirvana wrote: Just wanted to add something here, there isn't much I can say that I haven't said before so I'll just word it as best as possible; How can a banishment hurt so many?

Imagine the following :

You've just gotten out of prison after 20 years, for... stealing a car? Stealing a car, and dealing coke! Got it so far? Good.

You go to get a job at a gas station. The manager takes a swift glance at you, his left eyebrow clenched, he then glances back downwards to his computer, where your record is visibly displayed on-screen.

The manager of the gas station, after several moments of contemplation, proceeds to close-out of the browser displaying your record.

Several moments later, the manager of the gas station proceeds to stand up from his seat, as you stand helplessly behind his desk. He shakes his head, sighing heavily as he proceeds to decline your request to gain occupation at the gas station he is running.

And do you wan't to know why? Your record.

But that can all change.

Rehabilitation from a prison is never 100%, some offenders go-on to lead a positive-life within society, while... you know, some end-up back in the system they were first brought-to.

You have done your time, and you have gained your parole.

Now, the true question is... are you truly rehabilitated?
We will have to see, I +support you, Nirvana (ZuE), getting unbanned.

Don't let the banhammer slam you on your face again, if you get unbanned.

I will be watching you, and as-will be Noobstrike doing the same.

Masey wrote:

Nirvana wrote: Just wanted to add something here, there isn't much I can say that I haven't said before so I'll just word it as best as possible; How can a banishment hurt so many?

Imagine the following :

You've just gotten out of prison after 20 years, for... stealing a car? Stealing a car, and dealing coke! Got it so far? Good.

You go to get a job at a gas station. The manager takes a swift glance at you, his left eyebrow clenched, he then glances back downwards to his computer, where your record is visibly displayed on-screen.

The manager of the gas station, after several moments of contemplation, proceeds to close-out of the browser displaying your record.

Several moments later, the manager of the gas station proceeds to stand up from his seat, as you stand helplessly behind his desk. He shakes his head, sighing heavily as he proceeds to decline your request to gain occupation at the gas station he is running.

And do you wan't to know why? Your record.

But that can all change.

Rehabilitation from a prison is never 100%, some offenders go-on to lead a positive-life within society, while... you know, some end-up back in the system they were first brought-to.

You have done your time, and you have gained your parole.

Now, the true question is... are you truly rehabilitated?
We will have to see, I +support you, Nirvana (ZuE), getting unbanned.

Don't let the banhammer slam you on your face again, if you get unbanned.

I will be watching you, and as-will be Noobstrike doing the same.

I enjoyed that little story, I was in juvey hall once so I can relate some-what to that. I appreciate your choice and gift of a final chance for my rebirth.

Nirvana wrote:As I can say freely that I'm not a very persuasive person, and in response to Noobstrike, Noobstrike... Noobstrike Noobstrike Noobstrike... All the good in the world is hidden in small places and in shadow, TC may be something small and hidden away in the far corner of the internet but to me; Its inspiration and an addiction. For example, TC is blocked out and hidden away in the shadow of Catalyst which is a horrible community, and yet so many people play there; that's because its a breeding ground for those raging kid hybrid gamers. People remember the bad more than the good, so if given a final chance; I'm going to make sure there is so much good that there is no room in one's mind to remember any bad. And finally, a response to meleepayne; who are you again? I'm sorry but I don't remember you at all dude.

I'm a new member. derpityderpderp

Meleepayne wrote:

Nirvana wrote:As I can say freely that I'm not a very persuasive person, and in response to Noobstrike, Noobstrike... Noobstrike Noobstrike Noobstrike... All the good in the world is hidden in small places and in shadow, TC may be something small and hidden away in the far corner of the internet but to me; Its inspiration and an addiction. For example, TC is blocked out and hidden away in the shadow of Catalyst which is a horrible community, and yet so many people play there; that's because its a breeding ground for those raging kid hybrid gamers. People remember the bad more than the good, so if given a final chance; I'm going to make sure there is so much good that there is no room in one's mind to remember any bad. And finally, a response to meleepayne; who are you again? I'm sorry but I don't remember you at all dude.

I'm a new member. derpityderpderp

lol so you vote against someone that you can only assume about? You don't even know me! lol no its cool, how long have you been with TC then? I don't mean to brag but, I followed DIABLO in the great spear-head charge against SoTA's leader and then the declaration of newcommunitydence.