From deep down in my heart

I am sad, you guys. I am really sad. I am sad because of what I heard today. I had to go through my biggest fear. I had to sit and listen to random players tell me that my staff was bad at their jobs. That I need new staff. That my CCA were crap. That I was a bad owner.

They told me things were only good when I was there to watch over the Admins. And... that hurt me... so much.

And you know what I feel from deep down in my heart? I feel like when I leave for my vacation, this place will fall.
I feel like my Admins will cheat me. Play me. Take things into their own hands and screw me over. Why do I feel like this guys? Please, for the love of god tell me why I am scared to leave.

I am scared that when I return from the Galapagos, the population will be 0.
And I wont be able to do anything to stop that.
Its up to the Admins when I leave. And that scares the living hell out of me. I feel like I didn't train you all well enough. Or that I jumped the gun and gave you powers to soon. Or that maybe they are right, and I am a bad Owner.

Please. I should not have to sit here and beg. But I find myself doing so in fear.
Please, take care of the server. Its my pride and joy. Prove to me they are wrong. Prove to me that I taught my Admins well. Show me that I did hire the best damn crew there ever was. Because honestly, I am losing hope. I want nothing but this server to survive and flourish. I want you all, and others to have the best RP out there. To do this you need to follow the rules. You need to play the game correctly.

I love all of you guys, from deep down in my heart. It would kill me to see my server fall.
Im leaving the server in your hands, and a tear falls down my cheek as I get on the plane to leave. Because I feel like this is the last time I will see TC be as beautiful as it is. We need to step our game up, and get serious. /me sniffles slightly. We need to follow rules, and play by the book. If we want TC to survive with a decent amount of players like it does now, we need to get things straight.

CCA, read the Handbook. Please. Have it open when you flag up, and look at it.
Resistance, dont try and take the CCA head on like you used too. Its harder now. Change your strategy and mix things up a little. Work with Citizens, not around them.
And admins? Please... prove to me that those players are wrong. I don't want to believe them.

Stay IC
Take arguments off the server.
Stop minges at all costs.
Keep the average player happy.


After all, you were once an average player yourself. And Admins sought the best for you.
Now it is your turn.

I will be thinking of you all on my trip. Ill be worrying like a nervous parent. Ill be scared like a best friend. Ill be right there for you when I come back, just like an Owner should be.



A year ago, I spent every day and every hour playing HL2RP. Meeting people that I know now. Learning the rules, having fun, and knowing I spent my time well. I got nervous when I would speak to Admins, I didnt want to screw up infront of them. I was scared of what my CCA application will get as an answer. I had a noob 05 that got taunted and tormented by resistance, and I had fun letting it happen. I met Noobstrike and a few others. We would party all day, into the night. I met Archimedes and Mahunik. We would Passive RP for days. I met Chris who would sit in the corner for hours on end, and didnt understand RP entirely. I saw Dead Anarchy fall, and took a step closer to my future. I RP'ed with D-Lop and many others, and earned trust. Played correctly, and had the most fun I will ever have in any PC game. I would run around and talk to random people, often playing tricks on them as other characters who were in on it watched from a distance. I met, and became friends with many people. SoTA fell, and I saw them falling with it. I took their hand and carried them to TheCrew. I promised it would be what they wanted.

I didnt have to do it, but I did it to say "I didnt have to do it, but I would anyway"